How It All Began With God And Me

I was transcribing from tapes by John-Roger, founder of the Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness in Los Angeles in 1981 during my sophomore year at Colorado Mountain College. I was seeking truth and some sort of mentor at the time and I thought John-Roger was it, until I came across a couple things he said that caused me to question his authenticity. He said that "Jesus was not the only begotten Son first." I didn't know the Bible but somehow that struck a weird chord with me. The other thing he said was that he only had capacity to disciple a limited number of people. After spending a lot of money on his instructional material that left a lot of uncertainty about my investment. So my searching continued.

Meanwhile, during the time I was involved with this MSIA which I became acquainted with through an Insight Training Seminar which my father sent me to and paid for (and bless his heart for wanting to help me in a meaningful way), I was encountering several people who were challenging me about religion and to try Jesus. I was so afraid to because I felt it was exclusive and I thought I would have to give up being Jewish which I did not want to do. But one day the school receptionist Jan, who challenged me the hardest, told me to ask God to reveal to me the right way, even though I thought I had finally found the right way.

So that night I did. I approached God and said I think I'm on the right path but please show me whether I am or not. The following day or so, I encountered a small group of students, a dozen or so, sitting in a circle in the mezzanine on the floor, holding hands. I discerned that they were praying in the name of Jesus.

Then I asked God if I could be saved for a day to see if I want it. I asked this twice. Both times I heard audibly, "You either get saved for always or not at all."

I remember how timid I felt. But I approached Lee, a friend of Jan's, in the kitchen at school and called him out to the mezzanine to speak with him while nobody else was around. I asked him if there is really such a thing as Hell. He told me what the Bible describes as a "lake of fire." I told him "I don't want to go there. Let's pray!" And prayed we did. That was on Tuesday, November 3, 1981 around 10 AM Mountain Time.

I remember leaving that meeting with Lee as a different person. I didn't feel any different in my emotions per se but I knew there was a change on the inside of me. I sensed a golden glow like the sun shining from my inmost being. It was as though someone had removed sunglasses from my eyes that I was completely unaware of obstructing any light. I was also aware of two burdens being lifted from me: one of being a woman who had to prove herself strong and independent, and the other of being ashamed of my Jewishness. To my surprise, I felt more connected with my Jewishness than before and now was unashamed of it. As I headed for class, I was being greeted and acknowledged by people I passed by in a way I never experienced before. That was a miracle in itself too.

 I eventually abandoned the new age movement that I was involved in and became engrossed in the Bible. It gradually changed my way of thinking as I learned God's perspective. I have become a disciple of Christ Who never turns anyone away who come to Him. I used to think that all roads lead to the same place but found out they all lead to a place other than where I want to go. I found out Jesus is the real deal! No other spiritual leader or guide has done what Jesus Christ has done for humanity and there will never be another One. I have never gone back to new age practices now that Jesus is my Lord. I will not have it any other way.

Probably the two most significant events in my journey as a new Christian were the water baptism and the Holy Spirit baptism. The water baptism helped solidify my commitment to Christ and the Holy Spirit baptism added another dimension to my communion with God. Both were important steps for my spiritual growth and intimacy with God. Having my supernatural language has helped the Bible come alive with more revelation than before and has heightened my spiritual discernment and prayer effectiveness.

I recall eight years previous, being in Israel with a group and visiting Christ's tomb. Everyone else described an awe they felt while walking around in there but I never felt anything. I didn't believe in God then but was searching. Now I feel His presence in my life and in my soul.

I am very thankful for all who have prayed for me, among whom is my sister Pam, to come into fellowship with Jesus Christ!

Thief on the Cross

In April 2004 while making a move from Denver to Glenwood Springs, just 160 miles apart, I was saying my goodbyes to people I had known throughout the many years I lived in Denver, particularly in the building I lived in for fifteen years. My neighbor Karen Wilson with whom I didn't always get along, who was rough around the edges, left me a very touching note by my door, wishing me well in my move.

Well, I was prompted to respond with a gift. I gave her a hat I bought on my first visit to Glenwood Springs back in 1980. It was a woolen knit hat made in Italy. I was very fond of it although I rarely wore it. It was off-white with stripes of fuchsia in various tones. I hesitated giving it up. But I knew that I knew that I was supposed to give it to Karen who was very sickly at the time, although she was not that much older than me. I didn't know what she was suffering from. But with difficulty, I released the hat.

Then, a few months later I was impressed to send her a card which I finally did. But just previous to that, I kept hearing "thief on the cross," not knowing who that was referring to. I thought it might be my father who had ostracized me. I was clueless at the time.

Some time had passed since I mailed the note to Karen. I had pretty much forgotten about it. Then one day in July that year, it appeared in my mailbox unopened. It had some handwriting on it as to why it was returned. It said, "Deceased." I was in shock and overcome with grief.

I ended up still going into work that evening as scheduled. I paced the floor where I was working in sorrow. Then, I heard what I believed to have been the Holy Spirit asking me, "what are you so grieved about?"

I was a bit taken aback by that. I responded, "I'm saddened about Karen."

Suddenly, I remembered the words, "thief on the cross." I then understood who that message was referring to. My countenance changed that instant from downcast to peace and joy. God is faithful!

Then, years later when I finally moved to the Bay Area, I found a cream-colored hat of the same style and fiber as the one I gave to Karen. Only this time, it's more of a tan tweed and mostly solid color. I still miss the other one, but was pleased to find this one at a bargain.

Thank You, Lord, for your faithfulness!

Today is My New Birthday!

It was 29 years ago today I became born again. I remember it well. I was attending my first quarter at Colorado Mountain College, back in the day before they switched to semesters,  as a Photography Major and had approached Lee Wiegand in the school cafeteria and requested his presence in the Mezzanine with questions about salvation which he answered to my satisfaction. It was there we prayed and I invited Jesus Christ into my heart and to become Lord of my life. So Happy New Birthday to me!